RESTORATION

I remember,
The days of rage,
When I felt like an animal,
Who was locked in a cage.

 

When I had to endure,
A prison hell,
As I paced up and down,
My prison cell.

 

I wanted to rip out the bars,
And smash down the walls.
And attack the screws,
And inmate fools.

 

Where rage and anger,
Almost drove me insane,
Where violence was an outlet,
For my torment and pain.

 

Where I had angry fantasies,
And wanted to obliterate,
The prison authorities,
Using my heart full of hate.

 

Where I felt frequent sadness,
And seldom felt joy,
And acted in a way,
That made me destroy.

 

I ruined so many friendships,
And broke so much trust,
And by the time I’d seen the damage,
My heart and mind felt crushed.

 

I felt so much guilt,
I felt so much shame,
That it broke my mind,
And left me insane.

 

And when I was finally released,
And surveyed the pain and damaged years,
I was completely broken,
And could only cry tears.

 

By the age of twenty-four,
I’d spent eight years inside,
I was broken in pieces,
And part of me had died.

 

And by the time I thought,
It couldn’t get worse,
I was inflicted with schizophrenia,
A tormenting curse.

 

Three nervous breakdowns,
In hospital three times,
Given medication to patch up,
The gaping wounds in my mind.

 

Discharged into the community,
And bed and breakfast hotels,
Then  a ninth-floor council bedsit,
That looked like a cell.

 

Had to learn to cook, clean and shop,
While under heavy sedation,
Occasionally I’d smash my possessions,
It was how I coped with the frustration.

 

When I now look back,
I realise I’ve come far,
My soul is now healing,
To a gradually fading scar.

 

And I now have a nice home,
And so many new friends,
Who feed me with their love,
As I continue to slowly mend.

 

And the source of this love,
Is the greatest thing I’ve found,
The one they call Jesus,
Who wears heavens crown.

 

4 Christian Poems

WHAT JESUS DID
2020

He died on a cross,
To save you,
If you repented of sin,
He forgave you,
If you pray for confidence,
He’ll brave you,
He’ll set you free,
He won’t enslave you.
Instead of war,
He’ll give you peace,
Instead of chains,
He’ll give you release.
If you’re searching for the one true God,
It’s Christ you’ll find,
He’ll love you forever,
Because he’s kind,
He healed the lepers,
And gave site to the blind.

 

THE SHEPHERD
2020

We are the flock,
You are the shepherd,
We’re guided by you,
Lord of all.
You keep us safe,
You keep us secure,
You keep us happy,
In your love.
You’re always there,
You’ll never leave us,
You are our master,

For all eternity.
Jesus Christ,
You’re the shepherd,
You’re our God,
Who sets us free.

BEAUTIFUL SAVIOUR
2021
I feel so beautiful,
I feel so free,
Because Jesus Christ,
Is living in me.
He took my sin,
And made me clean,
And now I’m becoming happier,
Than I’ve ever been.
I know Christ is with me,
I know he cares,
His love protects me,
He’s always there.
I used to be so low,
But now I’m rising high,
I’ve been forgiven,
That’s not a lie.
I’d said sorry,
For the bad things I’d done,
And when I gave my life to Jesus,
My new life begun.
He took my guilt,
He took my shame,
He took my deadness,
And made me alive again.

He’s restoring my mind,
He’s restoring my heart,
I’m rising in the light,
I’m out of the dark.

 

THE JESUS LIST
2021

Jesus Christ,
Is the one who frees us,
Jesus Christ,
Is the one who feeds us.
Jesus Christ,
Is the one who cleans us,
Jesus Christ,
Is the one who redeems us.
Jesus Christ,
Is the one who loves us,
Jesus Christ,
Is God above us.
Jesus Christ,
Is the one who hears us,
Jesus Christ,
Is the one who steers us.
Jesus Christ,
Is the one who protects us,
Jesus Christ,
Is the one who respects us.
Jesus Christ,
Is the one who forgave us,
Jesus Christ,
Is the one who saves us.

3 Prison Poems

THE ROSE
1992

Cracks within a once stone heart,
As a rose begins to grow,
But will it bloom to its full beauty,
Only time will know.

For time is the essence of my world,
For I am locked in pain,
Penal system incarceration,
Fighting to keep sane.

Oh yes, its very hard for a new born rose to grow,
Without the love and nurturing it needs,
Still surrounded by poor sad souls,
Rose thorns cause my heart to bleed.

 

NATURES CHILD
1992

I’m a child of nature,
Yet they lock me in a cell,
Creative mind so beautiful,
Yet here it rots in hell.

All alone, no one to love,
I cannot take this pain,
Tortured mind and soul in chains,
How it hurts the pain.

Free me please,
Oh hear me God,
Won’t someone hear my cry,
Locked away,
Can’t take this pain,
Just feel I want to die.

 

FREEDOM
1992

One day I will be free,
To forget the past,
And what used to be.

Walking untouched,
And unchained,
The beauty of my soul,
Free to love again.

Back to nature,
Away from steel bars,
Among high streets full of people,
Colours, noise and cars.

Back to the family,
So long I have missed,
Then one day my own,
Beautiful wife and kids.

I LOVE ANTIPSYCHOTIC MEDICATION

I love my medication,
Because it makes me feel elation,
Instead of feeling cold and scared,
I feel joy and jubilation.

Those scientists are so clever,
They’ve enriched my life for ever,
Instead of feeling suicidal,
My spirits are so high Lord.

Without the medication in my brain,
I would feel such hellish pain,
I’d feel so lost and desperate,
Like I was sliding down a drain.

But thanks to the pills I take,
I hope my mind will never break,
And I’d like to tell the health professionals,
That I love you all with thanks.

17/11/06

CRACK

Crack cocaine,
Can turn you insane,
Can ruin your life,
And pull you down a drain.

Crack cocaine,
Can cause you pain,
When you smoke off a rock,
You’ll quickly want another again.

An addiction to crack,
Will cost lots of money,
Can lead you to steal,
Cheat and commit robbery.

Like, I say,
It can make you beg, steal and lie,
Can mess up your life,
So that you breakdown and cry,
And make you crash so low,
That you’ll want to die.

If crack cocaine gets hold of you,
It could quickly change your nature,
Erode your morals,
And make you a selfish hater.

You’d stoop so low,
To feed this addiction,
Sell your soul to the devil,
And reject what is Christian.

You could be blinded by greed,
And selfishly seek more,
You might sell your body,
As a dirty street whore.

You could end up in jail,
And stunned by shock,
Locked in a cell,
Because of your addiction to rocks.

Stay away from crack,
The drug is so evil,
And has ruined the lives,
Of so many people.

If you’re addicted to crack,
You’re no longer in control,
In the grip of evil spirits,
That will take over your soul.

At first the drug,
Might seem like a thrill,
But it will deplete chemicals in your brain,
And you could end up being ill.

You could end up with schizophrenia,
Psychosis and madness,
Which could take over your goodness,
And make you chose badness.

Stay away from crack,
It could cause you so much pain,
Drag you into the gutter,
And make you ashamed.

So stand strong brothers and sisters,
Don’t ignore my words,
Addiction to crack,
Could make your life cursed.

MR HEROIN

Hi, I’m Mr Heroin,
I make you feel so nice,
Try me once sucker,
And you’ll probably try me twice.

Either inhale my fumes,
Or jack me in your vein,
I’ll take you so high,
You’ll never wanna come down again.

From your first fix onwards,
You could be hooked for life,
Everything for me,
You’ll sell and sacrifice.

And because I’m so generous,
Your first fix is often free,
But after that,
You gotta pay with money.

Addiction to me,
Doesn’t come cheap,
To feed your habit,
You’ll steal, beg and cheat.

You could end up in jail,
Surrounded by violence and hate,
But don’t worry when you’re released,
I’ll be waiting for you at gate, with a dealer your best mate.

I won’t let you go easy,
You could be addicted to me for life,
And one day you could overdose and die,
Another wasted life.

LET THE LION ROAR

The rage is back,
The springs in my step,
Ghetto man returns,
Chins off my neck.

Walking tall, strong and proud,
Head in the air,
Don’t judge me,
And I’ll try not to scare.

You see,I just can’t hold it in,
I’m a warrior filled with rage,
They let me out of jail fifteen years ago,
But I still sometime feel like I’m in a cage.

But no door can hold me,
I lock my own doors,
I don’t give people that power,
To clamp up my jaws.

You see, I’m a voice,
A spokesman for the mad,
Yeah I’m a bit of a scary schitz,
But don’t worry I’m not bad.

But I tell you man, I’m really angry,
To see people suffering in poverty,
To see people hooked on drugs,
Resorting to theft and robbery.

Frustrated to see my friends on drugs,
Their goodness overcome by addictions,
Angry to see people living on the streets,
What are we doing as Christians?

So many church people walking by,
Some with their noses in the air,
I’m pleased though that there are some real among them,
Who really genuinely care.

So frustrated, hurt and angry,
To see teenagers committing crime,
Bored to tears, hooked on drugs,
Then end up doing time.

What the hell is this world coming to,
When terrorists hijack planes,
Blow up cars and blow up buses,
And put bombs on our trains?

In this world, so little trust,
Or families sticking together,
Abandoned children, abandoned partners,
Is this world getting any better?

Seems the world is getting faster,
Crowded, noisy with less space,
Hurricanes and tidal waves,
And resources going to waste.

Now you see why I must roar,
And let the lion come alive,
The son of God, the lion of Judah,
Christ the messiah, who’s power I can’t hide.

Christ is the saviour of this fallen world,
Who will rule for ever with love so kind,
Whenever you feel that your lost in darkness,
Pray to him and peace you’ll find.

I’m not trying to say that I am Christ,
But I know that Christ is in my heart,
My rage is actually frustrated concern,
For a world that’s in the dark.

A world where many people,
Are lost and hooked in sin,
But I know that if you turn to Jesus,
His love will enter in.

Repentance brings such deep relief,
And all cry’s for help are heard,
Jesus has the power to help and heal,
And break every chain and curse.

I know you have such power Lord,
So I’ll let the lion roar,
Your power Jesus is so divine,
Broken lives you restore.

MUSIC

Music takes me higher,
Elevates my soul,
Makes me want to smile and dance,
Makes me want to lose control.

Makes me want to forget,
Inhibition, anxiety and fear,
Relax my mind and loosen my body,
And feel electricity in the air.

Makes the hairs on my neck stand up,
And feel a rush of adrenaline,
Makes me want to love people,
So that everyone feels like a friend.

Music brings people together,
Unites them all with love,
First your feet start tapping,
Then your standing up,
Next you’re on the dance floor,

Eye contact and smiles,
Music is like magic,
It gives you ecstatic highs.

BULLETS

Another bullet fired,
Another person dead,
A teenager in a coffin,
A hole is in his head.

A young man pulled the trigger,
And made a young man die,
A mother can’t stop crying,
All she asks is why?

Why do people shoot each other?
What fuels their rage and hate?
More newspaper headlines,
Of more lives gone to waste.

What do they get when they pull a trigger?
A gangster reputation,
But its simply isn’t worth,
A punished life of incarceration.

When will people learn,
That guns can only harm and kill?
People please, don’t use guns,
Lets help this world to heal.

23/2/07

EDEN

My little girl Eden,
The joy of my life,
Blond hair and blue eyes,
So cute she makes me smile.

Every time she calls me daddy,
I feel I’m ten feet tall,
God blessed my life abundantly,
The day that she was born.