People with mental illness are often referred to as survivors, and indeed this is often an
appropriate label, as a lot of mentally ill people struggle to cope with their illness and day to
day living. This isn’t always the case though, and a lot of mentally ill people slowly get out of
their survival mode and over a period of time, sometimes many years, they get more on top
of their illness and no longer function in a barely coping state and go on to lead lives that
are flourishing, as a lot of people do get better.
Bobby ( Not his real name ) is 49. He was first diagnosed with having a chemical
imbalance, then about fifteen years ago, shortly after his mother died he was diagnosed
with schizophrenia, and he spent a short period of time in hospital and his medication was
changed to Olanzapine.
Bobby has been a keen photographer for many years, and as he gradually got better he
gained a City in Guilds qualification in photography, then in 2004 he graduated from
Croydon college with a BA in photo media.
Whilst studying for his degree, Bobby worked occasional shifts in an after school club for
young children, then after he got his degree he began to work at the club each weekday
from 3.30 to 6 Pm.
Bobby is also a Christian and he feels that going to church really helps him with his illness,
as worship, praise and praying lifts his spirits and helps him to feel peace. A peace that
counteracts some of the negative and oppressive thoughts he experiences due to illness.
At the start of January 2011, Bobby secured a full time work placement at a large
insurance company, where he works in the post room. He was initially employed on a one

year contract, but since then he’s now been employed permanently and has been enrolled
by the company into a pension plan.
Bobby also has a passion for music, and having a full time job has helped him to purchase
an upright piano costing two and a half thousand pounds. He also recently invested in
expensive camera equipment, is a member of his local camera club, and he has teamed up
with a filmmaker friend and will be the cameraman on a short film soon, and its likely he
may team up to be the cameraman to make longer films with his friend in the future.
Bobby is an inspiration, especially to mentally ill people, as his life demonstrates that its
possible to achieve high goals and lead a happy, thriving life, despite schizophrenic illness.


I was 12 years old when I first started sniffing glue, gas and solvents. These things made me
feel high and made me have hallucinations, sometimes good, sometimes bad.
By the age of 14 I also started smoking cannabis and taking LSD, and again, sometimes I
had good trips and sometimes bad ones, a bit like horror films. By this time I’d also been
regularly involved in crime for a few years or more and I’d do things like steal cars,
burglaries and even Creeping, where we would break into houses whilst the owners were in
bed sleeping.
In my experience drug taking and crime often go hand in hand, and if you’re mixing in
circles where people take drugs, its likely that some of those people will also be committing
crime. And if its your mates that are doing this, chances are you’ll get influenced to join in.
And if you commit crimes it’s likely you’ll end up getting arrested. In my own case I started
having regular court cases from the age of 13.
By the age of 14 I was put in a children’s home by a court, and at this age I finally got
excluded from school and instead I had to start attending an intermediate treatment centre,
which was like a unit for young offenders. And I remember at the children’s home that we
would sometimes lock ourselves in the bathroom and smoke joints.
By the age of 15 I also started doing violent street robberies, and aggravated burglaries
where we would force ourselves into peoples houses and confront the owners with knives
and other weapons. At this time I also started taking the drug Speed as well, and nearly
every day I’d also be drinking in pubs. I also started selling Speed. And me and my friends
would often take it to stay awake at night so we could go Creeping.

One night we went Creeping and got chased by the police, then later arrested by them,
and my best friend Wayne stabbed a police women twice in the arm when she tried to
arrest him. He got an eighteen month sentence for this, and would have got a lot longer,
but he was only 14 at the time of the crime.
After we’d got arrested I was sent to Latchmere House remand centre, which was a
prison for young people between the age of 15 and 21. And I was surprised that even in
prison there were people taking drugs, with inmates smuggling in cannabis and even drugs
like heroin. Inmates smuggled drugs in by pushing the cling film wrapped drugs into their
anus or by swallowing them and then sifting through their excrement. And by keeping the
drugs in their anus’s they could avoid them being discovered in cell and strip searches.
I was in the remand centre for about five weeks, then I was sent to another open unit at
Red Hill in surrey, and they prepared reports on me for the judge, who was to sentence me
for crimes like burglary. The judge then sentenced me to another intermediate treatment
centre, but this one I’d live at for several weeks for the first part of it, and later that year I’d
be back there for another two weeks to complete the program.
The I.T centre was in Harpendon, in Hertfordshire, and I completed the three weeks then
came home, but shortly after I appeared in court for an old burglary charge and I was
sentenced to three months in a detention centre.
Send detention centre in surrey was known as the short sharp shock. It was a military
style regime and we had to march everywhere, do outside farm type work, and we had to
do intense physical exercise twice daily, that included field runs and circuit training.
I got released from D.C after six and a half weeks, and I was extremely fit. And I went
back to crime straight away. Then I did the last two weeks of the Harpendon I.T program,
but it wasn’t rehabilitating me as I took cannabis back there and smoked it with the other

kids on the program and one night I sneaked out in the early hours of the morning and went
One of the reasons why young people commit crime is because they’re bored and crime
is exciting. People often commit crime as well due to peer group pressure. They want to be
accepted by their friends, so they join in with them. And the reasons why young people
often take drugs, is for the same reasons, but also because drugs provide escapism and
initially taking drugs make you feel good.
Another thing that negatively affected me when I was growing up was the fact that my
dad was an alcoholic, who sometimes hit my mum, and I can remember seeing my dad
punch my mum in the face on two different occasions, the first time when I was only six
years old. I can also remember once being in bed at night frightened as I listened to my
mum screaming and crying whilst my dad attacked her after he’d came home drunk. My
dad eventually stopped being violent when he was older, but the damage was already done.
And in defence of my dad, I can honestly say that most of the time my dad was colourful
character, very funny, kind and generous. He also worked hard to provide for my mum, me
and my two younger brothers. And when he was violent, it was usually when he was under
the influence of alcohol.
I remember years later one of my friends I was in prison with said, “When you were a kid,
you always looked so serious, like you had the weight of the world on your shoulders.”
Several months after I was released from detention centre I was arrested for three
robberies and sentenced to ten months youth custody. I spent most of this sentence in
Rochester Youth Custody Centre in Kent, and whilst there I regularly smoked cannabis,
firstly when I was in a dormitory, then when I was moved to a cell on B Wing after me and
several friends had tried to start a riot.

I got into quite a few fights when I was in Rochester, mainly because I was only a 15 year
old, little skinny kid, and people tried to bully me, but after a while when people realised I’d
stand up for myself and fight back, not many people tried to bully me anymore.
I had a six day home-leave from Rochester shortly before my release date, and on home
leave I met up with my friend David and we committed various crimes. I also came back
from home leave with cannabis on me.
I completed my sentence on 6 th July 1984, and the next day I was arrested for stabbing a
man in an attempted street robbery. I was remanded in custody and on the 14 th December
that year, whilst I was still 16, I was sentenced to be detained for eight years.
I started my sentence on the convicted wing at Latchmere House, then after a couple of
months I was sent to Aylesbury Youth Custody Centre. The minimum sentence in Aylesbury
was three and a half years, and the longest sentences were things like double life, and some
inmates there were serving recommended sentences of over twenty years. There were a lot
of murderers there, bank robbers and rapists etc.
Later that year I went to the court of appeal in The Strand in London, and I smuggled a bit
of cannabis in there and I smoked a couple of joints there with people in the cells. I then
went into the dock stoned and the three high judges there reduced my eight year sentence
to six years. I was a bit disappointed as I’d hoped to get my sentence reduced on appeal to
at least five years, but I quickly recovered. I even said thank you to the judges after they’d
reduced it, and they looked at me a bit shocked, as you’re not supposed to talk to them.
When I’d got eight years just before Christmas the year before, after the judge had
sentenced me I gave him a little wave from the dock and wished him a happy Christmas. I
remember that a lot of people in the court started laughing. I was just being defiant and
cocky and wanted the judge to know that he hadn’t broken me.

By the end of 1985 I was growing angrier and more defiant. I started assaulting and
attacking prison officers, was shipped out to different prisons, and was often put in the
solitary confinement block as punishment. I was also often restrained by gangs of prison
officers and sometimes I was stripped naked and beaten up by them. It made me hate them
more and more. And sometimes I was in the block for a couple of months at a time.
In Feltham Youth Custody Centre I attacked a couple of prison officers on different
occasions and because I was so often violent the prison authorities tried to get me
transferred to Broadmoor, which was a maximum security mental hospital. I was
interviewed by a psychiatrist from there, and thankfully he said that I wasn’t mad.
I eventually got shipped out of Feltham the day I’d escaped from the block exercise yard
there and I climbed up onto the prison roof and staged a four hour protest, simply because I
was bored. I’d have probably stayed up there longer, but a lot of the time I was up there it
was pouring with rain.
After the roof top protest I was shipped out to Chelmsford Youth Custody Centre that
night. And on Christmas day there, 1986, I chinned an officer and a group of officers then
dragged me to the punishment block and battered me.
When I came out of the block about a month later, I carried on doing some education
classes in the prison and when I showed the English teacher a short story I’d wrote, she
seemed surprised and amazed that I could write so well, and she enrolled me to take an RSA
English exam, and with only a little bit of preparation and study, I passed the exam and it
was my first ever qualification. I was 19.
About this time I made my first attempt at writing a novel. I then got transferred back to
Aylesbury again. And I carried on doing education classes. I learned to touch type and
gained another RSA qualification, this time in Business Studies. And I started becoming

interested in filmmaking after finding a book about screenwriting and other books about
filmmakers in the prison library.
I got released on parole in September 1988 after I’d served four years and two months of
my sentence. I was 20. When I got out I saw that many of my old friends that used to take
cannabis and soft drugs were now addicted to drugs like heroin, cocaine, crack and ecstasy.
And I’ve learned that soft drugs often lead to people taking harder drugs in the future.
I got arrested again for burglary and possession of fire arms after I’d been out of jail for
about six months, and me and my co-defendant David were remanded in custody. I was 21
and it was my first time in an adult prison.
My friend David was a heroin addict and would smuggle it in on his visits, and whilst
sharing a cell with him I tried heroin for the first time. And for nearly two years that I was
back in prison, I took it regularly, sometimes smuggling it in on my own visits and I brought
back heroin and cannabis from home leaves near the end of my sentence. And whilst I was
on home leave I also smoked crack for the first time and took it many more times after that.
I got released from jail on December 13 th 1990, when I was nearly 23 years old. I trained
in Video Production at Battersea Basement Studios for the second time. I’d originally
studied there for a couple of months when I’d previously been on parole.
I also regularly continued taking cannabis, heroin, cocaine and crack, though unlike most
of my friends I weren’t an addict, but I was on the fringes of it all. I wrote an article about
my experiences of being a crack user and it was published in The Guardian, so now, as well
as being a filmmaker I’d also became a journalist.
Approaching the summer of 1991 I started regularly also taking the drug ecstasy in
nightclubs, then I got arrested with my friend Wayne for an aggravated burglary and we
were remanded in custody. And for a few months on remand we smoked cannabis every

day and took ecstasy once or twice a week. I then told Wayne that I didn’t want to take
drugs anymore and Wayne moved out of the cell. Shortly after this I became a Christian.
I’d started to go to church in Brixton prison and I found Christian books on the landing
and started reading them. Then I found a Christian pamphlet tract and I became a Christian
by repeating the salvation prayer on it. I’d invited Jesus into my heart and promised to live
for and serve him for the rest of my life. In return my soul is saved and will live for eternity.
And serving Christ isn’t like being in a slave relationship, its simply about becoming less
selfish, by serving and helping other people, and spreading the gospel by reaching out to
people with Jesus’s love. And Christ wants everyone to be saved, which is why Christians
evangelise in him.
When I’d became a Christian and leading up to it, I’d started to experience a spiritual
awakening, my conscience came alive for the first time in many years, and from having a
heart filled with so much anger and hate, I was suddenly filled with peace and love instead.
It was the first time I’d been in prison without getting into any fights or assaulting anyone. I
started becoming more sensitive and instead of hating a lot of the inmates and staff, I felt
love and care for them.
By the time I became a Christian though I was already starting to become mentally ill, and
I was released on parole after I’d been in prison a year and within a couple of months I had a
breakdown and I was hospitalized with schizophrenia.
I believe I became mentally ill because of all the drugs I’d taken. And I know that its not
just hard drugs that can cause mental illness, and that also soft drugs like cannabis and
speed can cause psychosis. I believe though that it was the drug ecstasy that caused me the
most damage and I believe I started becoming ill also because I was burning myself out by
writing so many prison letters, and for the first time in years I’d started to open up about all

the horrific, shocking and painful things I’d experienced since childhood, and there were
times when I’d break down in tears as I wrote letters.
Having a breakdown was the most traumatic thing I’ve ever experienced. When I became
ill I believed that I was the antichrist and that God wanted to kill and destroy me. I thought
that the Mafia, the I.R.A, the London underworld and other people and organisations were
going to kill me. I also believed the police wanted to frame me for murders and I’d get a life
sentence and I’d kill myself in jail, and I suffered from other extremely painful and
embarrassing fears and delusions. I stopped eating and drinking for three days at a time,
and I went down to about eight stone in weight, and I’m six foot tall. I also stopped washing
and shaving for weeks and I walked miles and miles around the streets, often crying, and I
was so exhausted that I’m surprised I didn’t collapse. I also did things like drag a knife
across my stomach and I once even smashed a bottle over my own head as I was so
I was in Springfield psychiatric hospital on three occasions, twice on a section. And
amongst other things I was locked up and forcibly drugged. I was discharged from
Springfield late in 1993, and since then I remained on antipsychotic medication. I’ve
stopped taking medication several times since then, but after a short while I’ve started
getting ill again, so had to continue taking it.
I’d abandoned my Christian faith soon after I’d been released from prison in 1992, but
God hadn’t abandoned me. I started going to church again over six years later at end of
1998 and before that Christians stopped me in the street everywhere. Complete strangers
gave me their phone numbers and invited me to church. I always declined their offers
though. One day though I saw a banner advertising a Christian healing meeting, and I
attended and went forward to give my life to Christ again.

When I rededicated my life to Christ, my Christian conscience was awakened again, and
from then onwards I started making an effort to live honestly, tell the truth and I stopped
doing things like cheating social security, and I started telling the truth and being accurate
on forms, questionnaires and in writing articles etc. Living truthfully became important to
me again. And more than anything it also became freeing.
Shortly after I recommitted my life to Jesus a guy called Steve Nichols from The London
City Mission rang my intercom and I invited him into my flat. He told me a bit about
churches in my local area and I started attending a church where he was one of the
ministers. I then met Tom Torok, who was also a minister there, and his wife Aideen and
they invited me to dinner with them and their young family. Shortly after meeting them I’d
told Tom that I was a writer, but I didn’t have a computer. Tom and Aideen later then gave
me a key to their house so I could use their son’s computer to do my writing. They knew
that I was an ex long term prisoner and a schizophrenic, but they trusted me and I found this
mind blowing.
Tom and Aideen also watched my the old videos I’d made and encouraged to study
filmmaking at college. And since then I’ve studied filmmaking at college and university and
I’ve got a City and Guilds and a HNC qualification in film production. I’ve also written
seventeen mainly slim books now, and have so far had three of them published as ebooks
by Chipmunka publishers, under my pen name Christophrenic. I’ve also made many short
films now, ranging from a music video, to documentaries and dramas, and I’ve got over sixty
films on Youtube, which also include lots of home video and family clips, and over a period
of many years I’ve also filmed lots of weddings, baptisms and other social occasions. In the
past couple of years I’ve also occasionally worked as a film extra. And one of my ambitions
is to one day write and direct a micro budget feature film.

I also met my wife Tara when I started attending Penge family church and I’ve been
married to her for more than twelve years now and I’ve got two grown up step children and
two daughters age 10 and 8.
The medication I’m on does a lot to make me feel mentally well and balanced. But some
aspects of the illness and side effects of the medication are horrible. I often feel physically
unwell and sick, usually for up to a few hours after waking up, and sometimes I vomit. I also
spend a lot of time feeling extremely tired and I’ve got weak concentration. I often feel
mentally inhibited and I’ve got very little mental and physical stamina, so I feel very weak
and debilitated sometimes. I also sometimes experience extreme anxiety, which makes me
feel tense a lot and afraid.
There are other times though that I feel the opposite of all this. When I feel energised,
bright and clear in my thoughts, and physically, mentally and spiritually free, so I feel there
is a balance.
I regret taking drugs when I was younger, because its made me ill for so many years. I
realise things could be worse though. I know five people who’ve died of drugs overdoses. I
know three people who’ve died in motorbike accidents, two of whom may have been on
drugs at the time. I know three people who’ve been murdered. I’ve also got three friends
who’ve served life sentences. I’ve got a friend who killed himself in prison. And another
friend who used to take drugs killed himself on new years day 2014. A lot of people I grew
up with are still on drugs and in and out of prison.
When I think about things like that, I can only be thankful that God has got me out of
such a destructive lifestyle and thank God that I’ve got a wife, family, and so many new
friends, and even though I still suffer from mental illness, I’m so glad that I’m alive.


PATRICK Boothe, a 60 year old, Croydon based reggae music artist has recently produced his
latest independent album, The Lion In Me, which is released under the name of Bobby
Sparks, who sings lead vocals on all the tracks.
The album is Patricks fifth collaboration using Bobby as the vocalist, and Patrick
produced, recorded and wrote all the songs that Bobby sings.
Patrick and Bobby first teamed up shortly after meeting in 2006. At the time Patrick was
living in Sylvan Hill, in Crystal Palace, South East London, and Bobby was living close. And
Patricks wife Marcia and their sons kept telling Patrick, “There’s a guy who walks past our
house singing and his voice is incredible.”
Patrick had never seen Bobby though, until a twist of fate, they both met each other in
boot camp during X Factors 2006 competition. Both of them had entered as singers and got
through the first round and they went to Sharron Osborns house, but failed to get selected
to continue.
When cabs were called for the artists who’d been voted out, Patrick and Bobby learned
they lived minutes away from each other as they both wanted a cab to Crystal Palace, so
they shared a cab, and it was then Patrick realised that Bobby was the person who his wife
and kids had been talking about, who had the incredible singing voice and who used to walk
past their house singing.
Patrick then said to Bobby, “Before X Factor finishes, we’ll already have an album out.”
And it was true, as within one month they had an independently produced album called
Changing Times, that Patrick created by himself, and Bobby sang vocals.

Now all these years later, they’ve recently released their fifth album together under
Bobby Sparks name called The Lion In Me, which is also the title of first single from the
Not only does Patrick produce the music, record it and write the songs for Bobby’s
albums, but Patrick also creates music videos, sometimes writing, producing, directing,
filming and editing them, and he is completely self taught.
More recently Patricks has been creating a lot of his music videos from using
international stock footage clips and some of his videos also feature special effects, again
what he’s taught himself to do.
Patrick first got into music as a child in church. He used to sing and taught himself to play
drums and guitar. His dad also made a couple of albums when Patrick was a child and
Patrick featured on them.
As a young man Patrick was also a singer in a band called Midnight Express, and they
were the warm up bands at concerts for people like Billy Ocean and Marvin Gay.
After a few years though the band split and to pay the bills Patrick became a backing
singer and featured on the records of many famous people, and for a while he lived in
America. He also had some singles released as a solo artist on Streetwave records in the
early 80s.
Patrick was originally a soul singer and created soul music, but after living in Jamaica for a
while, he got the reggae influence, which later led Patrick to produce the first Bobby Sparks
Although Patricks main genre is reggae music now, his work is somewhat experimental
and different from a lot of other reggae artists. For example on some of his tracks he mixes
rock guitar, as well as other sounds you don’t usually hear in reggae music.

Patrick also feels blessed to have met Bobby, and says that Bobby is one of the most
unique and versatile vocalists he’s ever met and worked with. He says Bobby has an
amazing vocal range and can sing anything and adapt to any kind of track.
Patrick currently lives in New Addington, in the borough of Croydon, with his wife Marcia,
who he married in 2002, and they have five children, two of whom have grown up and left
home now.
The songs that Patrick writes are very deep and spiritual and Patrick has a deep belief in
God. He knows God lives inside of him and his creativity is a demonstration of Gods power,
and he knows his music is Gods expression. Sometimes he’ll make a record and video, and
not only does it amaze other people, but also it amazes himself, and sometimes afterwards
he’ll ask himself, “Wow. How did I do that?”
He knows though that he is simply Gods vessel of the creativity that flows through and
sometimes bursts out of him. And Patrick is extremely prolific, and he often stays awake all
night working on tracks in his home studio and making and editing his music videos.
To find Patricks music go to For videos go to Patrick
Boothe’s youtube channel. And you can get Bobby Sparks new album The Lion In Me, and
Bobby’s previous albums from iTunes and CD Baby.


From bank robber to Christian

MARY Kay Beard was once one of the F.B.I’s most wanted fugitives, for crimes including cracking safes and armed robberies of banks. The Mafia had also put a contract on her life as she’d ripped them off in a diamond heist.

In 1972 at the age of 27, Mary was sentenced to 21 years in prison. And during five months in solitary confinement she began to remember bible scriptures she’d learned as a child in Sunday school, and she began to attend a Sunday school class in Tutwiler prison in Alabama at 7 Am. It was the only time she was allowed out of her cell.

In prison Mary began to wonder if God would save her or was it too late, then whilst reading a Gideon bible, God led her to the passage Ezekiel 36 v 26, which states, ‘I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you. I will remove from you the heart of stone and give you a heart of flesh.’

That scripture was a wake up call for Mary and she returned to the faith of her childhood.

Mary hadn’t started out in life bad. She was one of nine children, growing up on a farm with a godly mother and an abusive alcoholic father, so she saw her early life as being a bit schizophrenic. Her mother was taking her and her brothers and sisters to church, but her fathers influence was bad and Mary was very bitter and angry and felt resentment towards him.

Mary graduated from high school at the age of 15, and completed training to be a nurse at 18. Then her life took a bizarre and unexpected turn when she met Paul on a blind date, fell head over heels in love, and married Paul nine days later.

Paul was a music producer, which was fairly respectable, but he was also a bank robber, a master safe-cracker and a gambling addict.

Mary had been married before, but it had only lasted a short time and had ended in divorce. Mary had two children from this first marriage.

Her second marriage to Paul though had brought her into a completely different world. Within a short time she was assisting Paul in his life of crime. First in minor gambling cheats, then safe-cracking, and then in armed robberies of banks. And at one point she even staged a prison break to free Paul.

Paul left Mary though when she was hospitalized with an operable cancer tumour, and Mary felt very hurt, bitter and angry about this and she teamed up with a couple of Pauls old partners in crime, and continued committing serious crimes which led to her being hunted by the F.B.I, who eventually arrested her. She was charged with 11 federal and 35 state counts of grand larceny and armed robbery.

Mary was surprisingly paroled after serving just six years of her 21 year sentence. And because of her success with educational classes in the prison, she won a scholarship to Auburn university and gained a BA and a Masters degree in counselling.

In 1982 Mary was recruited by Chuck Colson, who’d set up the ministry Prison Fellowship and she was asked to set up a Christmas project for inmates. In the six Christmases she’d been behind bars, she’d seen that when the women inmates had been given small gifts of things like toiletries by visiting Christians, the inmates would then pass these small gifts to their children. These women ranged from shoplifters, to prostitutes, to murderers, but they all still had a heart and love for their children, and they would give their children the only presents they could.

So Mary was then inspired to set up the Christian charity Angel Tree. This meant that people could buy presents for the inmates children, so that they would receive presents from their incarcerated parents on Christmas Day. And they were presents the children wanted and were bought from the children’s wish list. The whole aim was to make the children feel loved by their parents at Christmas. And from the Christian point of view it helped the children and parents feel the love of Christ during the Christmas period.

The first year that Angel Tree was set up, it was piloted in just one state, and 556 children received gifts that year. The following year it expanded to 12 states and by 2012, 364,198 children had received gifts from Angel Tree in the USA, but also due to Angel Tree spreading globally, more than 6.3 Million children around the world have now received Christmas gifts through the charity.

Mary met a former prisoner, Don Beard, and married him on January 29th, 1984, exchanging vows in a chapel at Tutwiler prison, where she’d previously been locked up.

Mary and Don also founded several other ministries, then Don died in 2006, and Mary died in April 2016. Her legacy though continues. Angel Tree is still thriving and serving inmates children around the world, helping them feel loved by their parents, and helping them feel loved by the saviour Christ.


Daz’s testimony
By Paul Warwick

SOME of The Bible is written by murderers. This may shock some people and enlighten
others, as they will see the redemptive nature of God. A God who can change the worst of
sinners into the greatest of saints. Quite simply, God can make bad people become good.
In 2007 Daz appeared at The Old Baily and was found guilty of manslaughter on the
grounds of diminished responsibility. He was subsequently locked up for four years. And
now at the age of 27, he is a Christian, married and is a father to a one year old boy. He has
two jobs, and runs two Bible study groups called The Freedom Forum. One of the groups is
at Christ Church Anerley, in South East London, and the other is at Christ Church Sidcup.
The groups are for people who’ve been in prison, psychiatric hospitals or trouble with the
police. Six of the people who attend the group at Anerley are schizophrenics. And three of
the people who attend this group have killed someone, including one guy who’d spent many
years in Broadmoore.
Daz became fixated with violence from a very young age. His uncle had taken him to see
a Millwall v Manchester City football match. He remembers being hyped up and excited by
the crowd, and he witnessed football fans ripping up seats and throwing them into the
stands of rival supporters. And even though Daz was a little kid, he was gripped by these
images, and years later he became a violent football thug supporting Millwall.
Daz followed Millwall to other towns and cities, and would cause trouble, fighting other
fans, smashing windows and generally going on the rampage, and there were times when
he got arrested.

At this stage in Daz’s life, he was fascinated by violent criminals and programs like Crime
Watch, and it made him want to be like the violent people who were portrayed in the
program, and he thought that if people feared him he would have respect, which was
something Daz always craved and wanted.
One Friday night he’d been hanging around the streets with a gang of teenage friends
and drinking alcohol. A man had then verbally had a go at Daz and made him look silly in
front of his friends. Daz then ran all the way home and got a hammer and then he found
the guy who’d made him look small, and Daz then smashed him over the head with the
hammer. Incidences like this gave Daz a reputation and made people fear him, and this was
what Daz wanted.
One day Daz decided that he needed to start carrying a knife and he bought five Stanley
knives for him and his friends to take to another Millwall match up North. During a fight
between both sets of fans, Daz used his Stanley knife to slash some ones face.
On the train back to London Daz and his Millwall friends were hyped up and buzzing as
they talked about the violence they’d committed. But after a while the mood changed and
it went quiet, and Daz suddenly felt as sense of emptiness, like something was missing from
his life.
Daz then started dating a girl who is now his wife. When he started going out with her,
he felt very protective, obsessive and paranoid about her. He heard one night that a club
bouncer had made a sexual comment to her. A couple of days later Daz was drinking in the
club and a fight broke out with Daz and his friends fighting the bouncers. Daz and his
friends then rushed off from the club to get weapons, then when they returned a fight
broke out again and Daz was armed with a garden pitch fork and was trying to stab a
bouncer in the face with it.

A little while after that, Daz’s girlfriend started asking him to come to church, and that
really baffled him. For one, he didn’t believe in God, and he thought that if God did exist,
‘Why would he want to know a scum bag like me?’
The only dealing that Daz had had with a church before, was when he burgled one and
stole the DJ equipment that they used for a club there.
Daz’s girlfriend kept asking him to come to church and persuaded him to attend an Alpha
course, where he could learn the basics about Christianity and ask questions. Daz had then
said to his girlfriend, ‘If I do the Alpha course, and I find out that there’s no God, I don’t ever
want you to mention God to me again, and I will never ever come to church with you again’.
As the Alpha course was still going on, Daz was still continuing to get into trouble. One
night he stabbed a guy in the intestines and the guy was in hospital for a week, and Daz was
charged with GBH and was due to appear at Woolwich Crown Court at a later date.
Daz was really happy when it got to the last day of the Alpha course, and he thought that
he’d never have to set foot in a church again, and he’d only been attending the course to
keep his girlfriend happy, and he still didn’t believe in God.
On the last day of the Alpha course, a couple who are now Daz’s friends, asked him if he
wanted prayer to receive The Holy Spirit. Daz then started giggling and rolling his eyes back,
thinking, ‘These people are crazy’.
After the couple had asked Daz if they could pray for him, Daz simply said, ‘No thanks’,
and he started walking towards the door. His girlfriend then stopped him and said, ‘Daz if
you don’t go up and get prayer, how are you ever going to know if God is real or not?’
Daz then very reluctantly went forward for prayer and he stood there for about five
minutes and in his own words he said, ‘He felt like a right plum’. And he felt embarrassed,
imagining what his friends would think to see him standing in a church waiting for prayer.

Daz says he wasn’t really listening to what the couple were praying for him and he was
just about to open his eyes and turn around and say to his girlfriend, ‘That’s it. I told you it
was a load of crap. God is not real’.
Then all of a sudden Daz felt this incredible force surging through his body. It was the
most incredible physical presence he’d ever felt. It was so overpowering, and after a while
he snapped himself out of it and said to the couple praying for him, ‘I don’t need any more
evidence. I know God exists now’.
Daz says that it was exactly what he needed. He needed God to show him that he’s real.
And that’s exactly what he did. Daz had felt the presence of God in an unmistakeable and
powerful way.
For about the next two weeks Daz felt like his life was transformed. He stopped carrying
a knife and he felt an overwhelming sense of love. He no longer felt that something was
missing in his life, and he felt like God had filled the emptiness in his heart.
One night though Daz went to a nightclub with his old friends and him and his mates got
into a fight with some other guys, and Daz had stabbed one of them in the face with a
broken bottle. A couple of months later he ended up being charged with murder, after
another guy he’d stabbed died. Daz was 19 years old.
Daz was then locked up for four years, and during this time he was blown away by the
amount of support he received from people at his now fiancé’s church. And whilst he was
locked up he had a lot of time to study The Bible and think about God, and the guards
commented to Daz that he seemed to have real sense of peace about him.
Whilst Daz was locked up, he also studied to get his first two qualifications, two A levels,
and since he’s been released he’s passed another A level, gaining an A grade.

Daz was released in 2011 and in the summer of 2012 he married his fiancé, and in
January 2014 their son was born.
If you met Daz today, you would find it hard to believe that he was once a violent killer.
He is now 27 years old. He is tall and slim with cropped dark hair. He speaks articulately
with a strong cockney accent. And one of the first things you notice about him is that he has
a calm and gentle spirit. And its hard to believe that God can change someone so much.
But he has. Daz has changed extraordinarily, thanks to the power of a loving Jesus.
Daz’s pastor Mathew Fitter at Christ Church Anerley says about him, “Daz is now an
incredible blessing to the church, as a preacher and leader of The Freedom Forum for ex
And Daz says, “If God can change me he can change anyone. He has helped me rebuild
my life and have a love in my heart that is indescribable.”


Matthew Fitter’s testimony
By Paul Warwick

BEFORE Matthew Fitter became a Christian, he was very much into Karate and martial arts.
But he let go of this sport, shortly after he gave his life to the Lord. This was because Karate
and Christianity didn’t seem compatible to him. The mind set of martial arts caused him to
have a feeling of controlled aggression and feel ready at a moments notice to defend
himself and be violent to any attacker. Whereas being a Christian evoked in him a feeling of
having gentle peace and faith, and for Matthew the two extremes didn’t gel.
After Matthew became a Christian he became a police officer for seven years, starting as
a beat bobby, then working his way up to C.I.D and becoming a detective. When Matthew
became a policeman he initially felt unease, wondering if it was ok to be a policeman while
being a Christian, because he was arresting people who ultimately were punished by the
However, after a period of soul searching for about 18 months, he came to the
conclusion that it was ok to be a Christian police officer, and that ultimately being a
Christian made him a better policeman. For one, being a Christian meant that he was an
honest cop, who told the truth and didn’t break the rules. And two, Matthew got a chance
to share his faith with some of the people he arrested and people that came through his
police station and the court where he sometimes worked.
There was one guy that Matthew met who’d been sentenced for fraud, and Matthew was
able to have a one to one half hour chat in a cell, and Matthew then led the person to the


Lord. And Matthew says, “Actually, he sent me a letter from prison some months later,
saying just how much Jesus had changed his life.”
When Matthew worked in charge of court cells he would leave Christian Journey into Life
booklets in the bare cells. A couple of prisoners had got angry and ripped the booklets to
pieces, but other prisoners who enquired if Matt had put them there, would then have
conversations about God with him, and Matt knew that he was sowing seeds that would
later bare fruit.
Matthew had been attending church since he was very young. Before he could walk he
was pushed to church in a pram. By the age of eight he joined the church choir, though only
because he’d been told that at each wedding he sang at, he’d be paid a pound. The down
side of being in the choir though was the fact that he had to attend three church services
every Sunday. By the age of 18 he’d heard more than 1500 sermons, but despite this he
only half believed in God, and though he was committed to attending church regularly, he
wasn’t committed to living as a true believing Christian.
When Matt left home and went to college at the age of 18, he met some committed
Christians there and suddenly he realised that God wanted a personal relationship with him,
but for two years he kept God at arms length, as he wanted to live his life his own way, and
not live in a way that was pleasing to God. After hearing a sermon though his eyes were
finally unveiled and the penny dropped when he realised that Jesus had died on a cross for
him, rose again, and that by becoming a Christian Matt would be saved and would have
eternal life in heaven, and Matthew gave his life to the Lord when people were invited to
come forward for prayer.


When Matthew walked home that night after becoming a Christian, he felt an
overwhelming sense of God’s love and felt that Jesus was now living inside of him, and he
felt clean and free.
Years later, after Matthew had been in the police force, stationed in Guilford for about
seven years, him and his wife Guen, who he has two sons with, started asking God what he
wanted them to do in the future, and after a few months they felt that it was
overwhelmingly clear that God wanted them to leave their jobs and become missionary
They both joined an organisation called Youth with a mission, and after a period of
training went to Scotland and went to work in a Glasgow area called Possil Park. It was a
rough area, with a lot of crime and lots of people addicted to drugs, particularly heroin. At
the time they had an old Ford Capri, which regularly had windows smashed when petty
thieves broke into it.
On one occasion Matthew had been due to preach somewhere and stepped out of his
home to discover that his Capri had been stolen. Ironically, one of the local drug dealers
who like Matthew, said, “Don’t worry Maffew, I’ll find out who done it.” And a month later
he shouted through Matthews letter box at midnight, “Maffew. Maffew, I’ve found yer
He then took Matthew on a short drive to where Matthews Capri was and said, “I told
you I’d find out who done it. I only had to hit him once before he told me where the car
Matthew and Guen spent six years as missionaries in Glasgow, then felt it was time to
move on. Matthew then spent two years at Trinity college in Bristol and continued to work
for Youth with a mission.


Matthew has now been in ministry for 29 years and has been a pastor for 15 years. And
for the past seven and a half years he’s been the pastor at Christ Church Anerley, in South
East London, and his wife Guen is one of the worship leaders there, and one of their sons
Jonny also does a lot of work for the church.
Matthew loves being a pastor, but said that the most difficult part of this is that its not a
9 to 5 job, but more like a 24/7 occupation. Sometimes he’ll get calls from people in crisis
very late at night and in the early hours of the morning. And he’ll then need to minister and
pray for these people. People also sometimes turn up on his doorstep with problems at any
time, and sometimes people can be quite troublesome. I’e, people with addictions
desperate for money, who see Christians as a soft touch. But despite this, Matthew never
really feels on edge. As a policeman many years before, he’d had to deal with a lot of heavy
and serious stuff, including disarming knife wielding criminals. He’d also worked on serious
crime and murder investigations, and after being trained for this kind of thing, there’s not a
lot now that fazes him, so he feels that having been a policeman has helped him become a
better and stronger pastor.
Being a pastor though can be stressful at times and one thing Matt does to relax is take
part in sport. He plays football, cricket and badminton. And he enjoys watching sport on
the telly and is a big football fan of Leeds United and Crystal Palace.
Matthew says, “The best thing about being a pastor for me, is whenever I have an
opportunity, if I’m preaching or on a one to one, is actually leading someone into a
relationship with Jesus. Because I know how much Jesus changed my life, and when I see
someone give their life to Jesus, that is the most wonderful thing and privilege to be part


Matt also loves baptising people. He’s also been invited to Pakistan a couple of times to
preach and teach, and hopes to go back to Pakistan again in the future.
When I asked Matt if there was a final thing he’d like to say to anyone reading this article,
he replied, “Jesus is the one person who can totally change anybody’s life, because he really
is God, who came from heaven and for 33 years lived on earth, preached, healed the sick,
delivered people from demons, died on a cross to forgive everyone for our sins, and he’s the
one that set me free totally. And if Jesus sets you free, you’ll be free indeed.”


David Hall’s testimony
By Paul Warwick

DAVID Hall was once a chronic, paranoid schizophrenic. He was admitted to a psychiatric
hospital on many occasions. Then one day in church he was prayed for and a miracle
David is now nearly 60 years old. He grew up in and has spent most of his life in South
East London and he currently lives in Anerley with his wife Katie and one of their two
David grew up with ten brothers and sisters. David’s mum was a Catholic and he was
brought up in this faith, being baptised and attending a Catholic school.
At the age of 15, David’s mum suddenly gave up her Catholic faith and stopped attending
church, and David and his siblings no longer had too either.
Within a short time David suddenly went off the rails, smoking cannabis and getting into
petty crime, lying and sleeping around. He started getting arrested a lot and at one point
got sent to a remand home for the short, sharp, shock treatment.
When David was 18 he got kicked out of the family home by his mum and dad. He then
went to live in the lake district with his brother. David got a job, but couldn’t really afford to
live there, and he broke into the electricity meter in his bedsit and stole the money. He
then fled back to London. It was 1974.
Because he was worried about the police hunting him for the meter theft, he then fled
again, to Guildford, and he arrived with no money in his pocket and in the pouring rain, so
he then went into a church. In those days churches were always open.


He then knocked on the door of the vicars house, and David told him that he needed help
and was in trouble. The vicar then said, “Don’t worry, we’ll sort it all out.” The vicar then
gave David a meal. The vicars name was David Pawson, who later became a very successful
The vicar then took David to a house on the edge of Guilford, where he could stay with
five other Christian students. The students immediately started to evangelise to David and
he said the salvation commitment prayer.
Later that night when David was in bed in the room he’d been given, the room was
suddenly filled with light and David started praying in tongues for the first time, and the
students ran into his room excited. They switched on the electric light, unaware of the
Godly light David had seen, and they told David that him praying in tongues meant he’d
been baptised in the holy spirit. For David it was a wonderful and amazing experience as
he’d felt enveloped in Gods love, and he’d never experienced anything like that before.
David stayed in the house for a while and the Christians there helped him out and found
a bedsit in Guilford for him and one of the guys he’d stayed with gave him a loan of two-
hundred pounds, which was a lot of money in them days, and David also got a job as a chef.
David started going to church in the area and gave himself up to the police for breaking
into the electric meter and he was taken back up to the lake district in handcuffs. He told
the magistrate in court that he’d become a Christian and the magistrate let him off.
He continued attending the very large church in Guilford which had a congregation of a
thousand people, but he started to feel dissatisfied as the Christians there couldn’t answer
his challenging questions about God.
David then made friends with his mum and Dad again and they invited him to come back
home, and he started attending a very small church his dad attended in Penge, South East


London, which had a congregation of about thirty or forty people. David didn’t find the
church to be very spiritual and started mixing with edge members, people who attended
church but didn’t live as committed spiritual Christians, and who were more into the hippy
scene. David started taken drugs with them and sleeping around again, and soon he just
stopped attending church.
David then started getting back into petty crime and went back to live in the lake district
and he got a girl pregnant, not knowing that she was only 15. They both then moved to
Essex and started living in squats. David married his pregnant girlfriend when she was 16.
David said living in squats was crazy and a bit like the comedy program The Young Ones. He
lived with a mixture of hippies, skinheads, punks and hells angels who were into all sorts of
Someone then told him that if he got a job in Durham they would give him a free house
there. David and his wife moved there, he got a job and then a house.
When David’s first son was 18 months old he accidently pulled a boiling hot pot of tea
over himself and had serious burns and nearly died.
When David’s son was 3, David and his wife broke up. By now they also had another
child who was 1. David was heart broken that they’d split, and shortly after, he had a
nervous breakdown. David had lost his wife, his kids, was taking drugs, drinking, and could
no longer hold a job down and his wife wouldn’t let him see his children. He’d reached rock
When David became ill he began hallucinating and seeing and imagining things. His
behaviour became very bizarre. He’d do things like eat watch batteries, thinking they’d give
him power. He climbed electricity pylons and ran across motorways at night with his eyes


closed. There were times when he went walk about and he’d wake up naked in the
countryside, not knowing what he’d done or how he got there. And he heard voices.
This went on for about three or four years before his parents realised that he was acting
more and more oddly, then they had him sectioned and taken into Cane Hill mental
hospital. He was in hospital seven times in three years, twice on a section. He was
diagnosed with paranoid schizophrenia.
David was seriously ill for a long time, until 1989. He’d been released from hospital and
given a bedsit. He was on massive amounts of medication and was still also taking street
drugs and David felt like he didn’t want to live anymore and was contemplating suicide.
David’s bedsit was high up, and one Sunday he’d been thinking about killing himself by
stepping out of his window. He then watched Songs of Praise on TV and he decided he’d
either kill himself or go to church and see if God would take him back. He then went to his
local church, Christ Church Anerley.
For six months David attended the church and would sit at the back, and at the end of the
service he would quickly leave so that he didn’t have to talk to anyone. Then in 1989 the
pastor was preaching about faith and called people to come forward if they wanted prayer,
and David suddenly felt like he had a calling on his life. When the pastor asked David what
he wanted prayer for, David felt embarrassed to say that he had schizophrenia and that he
wanted to be healed of it. The pastor laid hands on David and prayed, and in an instant,
David just knew he’d been healed. He then left the church on cloud nine and he never took
medication for schizophrenia again.
David still got the medication on prescription though, as he was partly scared to tell the
psychiatrist that he weren’t taking the medication, as he feared they’d put him back in


hospital. But after a year his psychiatrist said to him, “You seem so much better now, I think
we’ll lower you dose.”
David then told him that he hadn’t taken medication for a year, and the baffled
psychiatrist couldn’t do anything, because he could see David was well. By now David had a
cupboard full of medication. Antipsychotics, antidepressants and tranquilizers, and he just
threw them all away.
After David was healed, Christians had given David the scripture, Joel 2 v 25, which states,
‘I will restore to you the years that the locust hath eaten.’ David was a bit sceptical though
and questioned God, asking him how God was going to do this. David felt sad that he’d had
a wife, two children and had lost them and so many other things, and he couldn’t see how
God would restore these things back to him. However, David then met Katie in 1995 and he
married her and they have two children, a son Isaac, who’s now a young adult and has left
home, and a daughter Rebecca who is now a teenager.
After David was healed he started to attend Cornerstone church in Bromley, and he
started serving as a steward, then being a head of the steward team, and then he was asked
to start preaching sermons. He did that for ten years at Cornerstone, then the minister
there, Hugh Osgood, recommended David to a bible college who were looking for a teacher.
David then spent over five years teaching there.
David then taught at another bible college for a while, but then stopped, but continued
preaching regularly at a number of different churches, which he’d been doing for many
years anyway, not just at Cornerstone. Over the years he’d also led retreats, gave
counselling to people, wrote some books, started a charity for the mentally ill, and created a
lot of art.


From when David got healed in 1989, until 2001, David was fine, but then he developed
the physical illness M.E, also known as chronic fatigue syndrome. He was 45. It was five
years though before doctors diagnosed David with M.E, and during this time at its worst
David was so weak at times that he couldn’t even put his trousers on by himself or even lift
a cup of tea to drink. He was also in physical pain a lot and rarely got much sleep.
David doesn’t know why God healed him of one illness, the schizophrenia, but hasn’t yet
healed him of M.E. Even though he’s prayed about it countless times over the years, and
also had many other people praying for him. David has learnt to live with the M.E though.
And he’s still been able to give lectures and preach, even though it often made him
exhausted after, and he would then often have to come home and go straight to bed.
David is also philosophical about the M.E, and glad that God still uses him, even though
its limited his life in lots of ways, and he relates to the bible scripture 1 Corinthians 1 v 27,
which states, ‘God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.’
Another scripture that people have given him and what he also relates too and takes
comfort in is, 2 Corinthians 12 v 9, which states, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power
is made perfect in weakness.’
David also relates to Paul the apostle who referred to his suffering as having a thorn in
the flesh, which he begged God to take away, but God didn’t.
David has adjusted to living with M.E. And even though it’s a debilitating and frustrating
illness to have, David feels that God has been kind to him, and one fact that comes to mind
is that David definitely ain’t crazy anymore. And that’s something David is still very grateful
for. And even though he’s got M.E, he still feels very much loved by God.